you'd think i'd be more optimistic today

in case you weren't sure who i was voting for yesterday, i was so happy that obama got elected. and to be perfectly honest, i wouldn't have been as angry over mccain winning as i was over bush. the thing that worried me the worst about him is he's so old and i'd be afraid what would happen if he died and palin became president. i thought mccain's concession speech was really great and i have faith that obama will do his best to get us back on the right path.

but i've been feeling what it probably feels like to be a politician whose lost the election. this whole year has been one long failing campaign. i've applied for job after job and gone on interview after interview. i've racked up over 1000 miles on my dad's car since june driving to and from interviews and job fairs. i don't want to know how many gallons of gas that is and how much that cost because i already feel bad enough about it. and there's all my bills and the extra food i consume (though i still argue that they should really reduce the amount of food they buy because there's way too much here already). the other day my dad and i went to walmart and the cashier said to the woman in front of us that he didn't realize how much money people spend on their kids. my dad repeated that to me, jokingly, because the only stuff he bought that wasn't all for me was some allergy medicine. and i use that too sometimes. "almost 100 grand for college..." he continued on the way out to the car. as i type this, i'm drinking the diet cherry 7up i've had him start buying for me.

i got a call this afternoon from entercom denver about a receptionist position. the woman calling obviously didn't look at my address because she asked me about relocating and whatnot. they wanted to fill the position as soon as possible and it'd take me lots of research and definitely more than a week of packing to get there. she realized it wouldn't be worth it to have me move out there, even if it'd be full time for me. it bummed me out. and then when my dad got home we were trying to figure out what to do since the new battery he got me for my laptop didn't want to hold a charge either. i came back up to his room to finish submitting an application for a production assistant at a cbs station and told him about entercom denver. "they wanted to fill the position quickly and didn't think it'd be worth it for me to relocate," i told him, my voice cracking, "which is probably why nobody wants to hire me." i came back down here and cried for a bit, filling out my hobby lobby application.

<side note> i've been told by both my mom and randy that i should try to get a job at hobby lobby. that's a place where i think i'd actually have more of a chance. i mean, i knit all the time. the only thing that feels weird is that they're super christian, to the point where they're closed on sundays and i'm the blasphemous athiest who curses like a sailor and puts stuff like this on her facebook profile.</side note>

my dad and i got my computer working and i calmed down a bit. we figured out that if you try turning the plug around in the jack, you can find where it actually charges the battery. i went to my mom's to get her to hem my new pants for my interview at target tomorrow and she asked me about green bay. i sighed as she continued to talk about red shirts and khaki pants for target or jeans at woodman's. i'm getting to the point now where i don't even want to get my hopes up the least bit about any job anymore. i'm constantly replaying my responses to interview questions, failing the clerical test at family video, and if i've ruined my chance at sovereign city by calling them. i'm trying to handle this, but it's gotten so hard to at this point.

alright, i should really pack up the pity party and head over to justin and jenny's so i can watch darla bright and early tomorrow morning.